Juandy: Please Don't Ship Us
by TheChairGod
Summary: The newest in the Juandy line of fanart/ fanfics in the Woffice fandom. I don't think there is going to be any smut in this fic, but I marked it just in case. Sophie's perspective is done! Wooo! Now I am going to go on to another person's perspective... maybe my own? idk yet... For more Juandy visit my deviantart: /


Chapter 1

Sophia's Point of View

The warm afternoon sun poured in through the window of the room as Sophia sat on her PS3 in her living room. Engulfed by the warmth of the couch and the blankets surrounding her, she busied herself with the newest Project Diva game. She punched at the controls desperately trying to get a perfect score. The level finished and she sat in defeat.

 _So close. Maybe if I just try one more time…_ she pondered.

Before she could continue with her game, she was interrupted by an alert from her ipod. Unlocking the ipod, she looked down at the Skype message she had recently received.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:26 p.m.] :

Sophie. I need your help. I really fucked up this time.

Knowing Chair, she knew that this could literally mean a number of things. She contemplated in her head if her pale friend was overreacting over something small again or if she was actually in peril. Deciding to at least pretend to care, she responded to her friend.

Rays [2:28 p.m.] :

Wha

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:28 p.m.] :

This is really bad. I need to know if you are in this or not. You have to be really committed to this if you actually do help me.

Sophia sat staring at her ipod. She knew that she was no Dr. Phil when it came to reading people's emotions, but she definitely knew that something was wrong here. She reluctantly decided that she would help out her friend in anyway she could.

Rays [2:32 p.m.] :

K. I am in. What is wrong?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:33 p.m.] :

It is kind of a long story. Let's just say I need help doing something.

Rays [2:34 p.m.] :

K I guess. What do you need? I don't have all day here Chair.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:35 p.m.] :

I need help shipping Juan and Andy.

Sophia looked at her ipod with a dumbstruck look. Was Chair fucking kidding? She knew that Chair was one to pull pranks on people and mess with them, but she didn't have the time, nor the need, for Chair to pull this off on her. They already shipped Juan and Andy. Did Chair magically forget all about Juandy and the Woffice all in one night? Was she really that forgetful? Was Chair even okay?

Rays [2:39 p.m.] :

Sarah… are you okay?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:40 p.m.] :

I am perfectly fine. So, will you help me?

Rays [2:41 p.m.] :

Sarah, we already ship Juandy. Remeber? Juandy, the Woffice, and all that stuff we made…

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:42 p.m.] :

No no no no no. Not that kind of ship. I mean literally. I need to ship them. Like through FEDEX or some shit

Sophia sat and stared at her ipod. She began to question Chair's sanity.

 _She knows that shipping people is not legal… right… there is no way the U.S. Postal Service is going to go through with this…_

 _Rays [2:45 p.m.] :_

Chair? Are you SURE THAT YOU ARE OKAY?! YOU caN'T LITerALLY ShIP PeopLE… I know we talk about it at school, but you know I am joking right…?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:47 p.m.] :

I know you are joking at school, but I have kind of got myself in a situation… and I kind of need to go through with this. This isn't exactly clean work… heheh

Rays [2:48 p.m.] :

Sarah… I can't go through with this… I don't even understand what is going on right now…

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:48 p.m.] :

That is okay. I just cannot explain in detail here. It is not safe. I am already coming to your house. I was planning to force you to help me with this. Don't worry much about it. I will be sure that if we get caught that we won't spend too long in prison.

Rays [2:49 p.m.] :

WHAT. PRISON. PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU ARE NOT PULLING A PRANK ON ME. I AM HONesTLY REALLY CONCERNED FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Chair ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2:50 p.m.] :

Oh hush. I am almost there.

Before Sophia could respond with any other messages of concern, she was startled by a knock at the door.

 _That must be Chair,_ she thought to herself.

She forced herself out of her warm bundle on the couch and made her way to the door. She opened it to reveal the chubby, pastey white figure she was expecting.

"For the love of wof Chair, what are you even rambling about? You're making no sense. You should just go home and get some sleep. Maybe you're night high or something"

Sophia tried to shut the door in Chair's face, but was stopped by a large arm.

"Nope. I am coming in. We are going to do this together because we are pals."

Chair proceeded to try to force her way into Sophia's house. Sophia put an effort up to try to keep her out of her house, but Chair was successful with her forceful tactics. She ended up shoving the door open and locking it behind her as she entered Sophia's house.

"Wow Chair. So nice of you to visit… ", Sophia said through clenched teeth.

"Okay. So here are the details. I couldn't tell you online. It isn't safe. Hackers and the NSA and shit. So listen pa-"

"No no no no NO, you listen. I want to go back to Project Diva. I don't have time for pranks. Go pull those on Juan and Andy. They are actually dumb enough to fall for them. I am honestly concerned for you though. I can tell something is wrong, but I don't think that you are telling the tru-"

"Just give me a second to expl-"

"No… you need to go. If my mom and family get back home and you are here, my mom will flip her shit. It will be ugly… trust me… "

"Oh come on. Your family isn't due back for awhile and we both know that. So just listen to me and -"

"I suddenly regret telling you my address right now, so please get out of my house."

"Wow. Hella rude though… like… that the heck… "

"Me… the rude one… YOU JUST BARGED INTO MY HOUSE!"

"Yeah… but I let you know I was coming."

"Omg… Chair… I… "

"Okay so here are the details! So I - "

"No. I don't what a part of whatever this is… if this is even a thing… thank you for coming have a nice day get out of my house."

"Come on… please… "

"Well… you are asking for help with illegal work… what is even in it for me… "

"Umm… the joys of shipping Juandy"

"Umm… no… that is not enough… especially if I END UP IN FUCKING PRISON!"

"I will buy you anime stuff."

"Not enough."

"Reol?"

"You can't buy people… "

"Well actually - "

"I don't want to know… "

"WAIT. I WILL DO YOUR MATH HOMEWORK FOR A WEEK"

"Three."

"Two."

"Six."

"Four."

"I can't believe I am saying this, but you have yourself a deal ChairGod."

"GREAT!"

"Alright. Let's go in my living room so you can tell me about what the hell I just got myself into."

Sophia led her friend into her living room where her paused game of Project Diva called her name. She sat down on her couch and pointed at the spot next to her signaling her friend to sit down. She picked up her game controller to continue her game, but rather than sit down, Chair had decided upon blocking the T.V.

"This is a serious operation. We are going to need all hands on deck and full cooperation!"

"Uhh… okay, I guess. Just hurry up and spit out what needs to be done."

"Okay. So you know how I live in American Canyon near the border of Vallejo, and Andy is totally convinced that because I live there I know tons of thugs because 'Vallejo is a dangerous place full of thugs'?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so besides the I know a ton of thugs part and 'Vallejo is a dangerous place full of thugs' part, he isn't wrong."

"So you're basically telling me that you live on the border of American Canyon and Vallejo, which I already knew, because this information helps me how…?"

"Okay. So what I mean is that I don't know a ton of thugs, but I do know… well… I may know a few… "

"OMG! CHAIR! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING? I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAT ON YOUR COUCH ALL DAY AND ATE PASTA OR SOMETHING! YOU MEAN TO BE TELLING ME THAT I AM FRIENDS WITH A GANG MEMBER DISGUISED AS AN AWKWARD WHITE GIRL?!"

"No. Not exactly. For starters I am not a gang member, and- "

"Then why are you acquainted with 'thugs'?"

"Well, it all started awhile back. A friend of mine had gotten herself into quite a hairy situation a few months ago. She had befriended someone named Easter Dave, and well… Easter Dave isn't a bad guy, but you don't want to owe a favor to him… "

"Let me guess… she owed him a favor, but what does this have to do with you?"

"Well, this particular friend owed something to Eater Dave and pretty much screwed herself over. Dave hooked her up with some drugs, and she promised that she would do him a favor. I am not sure of the details of this favor, but I do know that she was not able to deliver it. He got mad and threatened to kill her. Essentially, she got me involved and now I owe Eater Dave a favor. I traded a favor for Easter Dave for her life. "

"So let me get this straight. You saved your friend who got herself involved with a bad person, and now you are dragging me into this… why don't you ask her. She pulled you into this to begin with."

"That's the thing… I asked her and she said Easter Dave lives in another state now and that I shouldn't worry myself, but I know Easter Dave will find a way to get me if I don't comply to what I promised by a certain date. He has connections you know… "

"Okay… I will help you. Just one last question. How do Juan and Andy tie into this?"

"Oh. Get this. Easter Dave is a hardcore Juandy shipper. I showed him a fanfic one day for shits and giggles and he actually really got into it."

"You know Chair. I don't think this Easter Dave guy is as bad as you say he is. Someone who ships Juandy is truly a good person. Let's go gather Juan and Andy… but… I do have one more question… "

"Yeah?"

"What is Easter Dave going to do with them… once he gets them…?"

"Probably force them to have sex. I don't actually know, but I have talked to him. This is what he wants as my favor to him. I did give him rules though. He has to send them back. I don't know if he actually will, but I guess we'll find out."

"Alright. Let's do this Chair. We can't have a dead god on our hands. Who would we pray to in our IKEA's if you died?"

"IDK… Oprah maybe?"

"OMG, Chair… let's just go."

"Alrighty. First let's start with Andy. He is smaller and a weaker target. He should be easy to catch"

"Do you even have a plan?"

"Nope! Though, I do have someone to help up with the shipping!"

"Oh god… let's just get this over… "

"Okay! Just follow me!"

Chair began to walk out of the house as Sophia followed.

 _This is going to be a long night… isn't it?_ Sophia thought to herself.

Little did she know, that this was only the beginning.


End file.
